I’m still in the field, as we speak, and I’m currently standing at 4 approaches (with one phone number!). I’m planning to head into the night trenches at Kress Nightclub later on tonight, but I wanted to note a lesson in speaking slowly.
When I started my first approach today, I spoke in a rushed, nervous tone and blanked out a few times due to my nervousness. After noting my failure at a date or number, I walked back into my car, wondering why I my success ratio was relatively low. That’s when I discovered a natural, direct style PUA named James Marshall.
He’s an introverted seduction instructor who, after watching a few of his YouTube videos, speaks in a low-energy, calm tone. He doesn’t do anything special. He’s simply himself.
As a low-energy, direct game pick-up acolyte myself, I decided to do some meditation. I subconsciously told myself that rejection is apart of the cycle, to embrace it, that women want to be approached because they want to be told they’re beautiful and attractive, and finally, to speak in a slow, methodical tone. Why? Because it indirectly tells my body to slow down, which decreases tension and anxiety of cold approaching.
This was a successful lesson I learned during day game, which net me a single phone number out of one of my cold approaches today.
Let’s see if speaking slowly and methodically has a chance during night game.
EDIT: Never go direct at nightclubs ever again. Day game is a far more natural way of meeting women. Therefore, direct game is a perfect fit. Night game is WWII all over again. No wonder they’re called the “night trenches”.
I am incredibly excited. I just did my first 5 approaches in my journey to becoming a master pick-up artist. And let me tell you, my dudes, rejection ain’t shit. Before I continue, I was tinkering with pick-up for the past year or so and learned a ton of theories from Roosh V, Mark Manson, and Sasha Daygame. I did some pick-up every few months, but they all ended with flakes or outright rejection. Speaking of, I was deathly afraid of rejection. Like, horribly so – hence why I pussy-footed around going out and talking to girl.
Anyway, I approached cute girls I saw around a college campus I lived nearby and most of the approaches went great. All of my approaches were direct. For each of approach, I told the girls I was getting the layout of the college and thinking about taking classes there. A white lie, yes, but still worked.
Approach #1: I saw this cute Latina girl (about 7.5) walking around campus getting food from the cafeteria. My ego told me she wasn’t “hot enough” and I should find someone else. Nah, fuck that. My heart started pounding when I approached her and said: “Hey, I saw you from a distance and I thought you were cute. I couldn’t pass up the moment and I wanted to talk to you!” She blushed and said “Thank you”. I told her to sit down with me and she did. I then began to ask questions (too much questions) about her personal life and spoke in a fast, almost nervous tone. She told me she was going to school to become an orthodontist and we chatted a bit. Eventually, my mind blanked and I straight up told her, “I’m going to be honest with you, but my mind totally blanked”. She laughed and said it was OK and began asking where I came from. Eventually I asked for her number and she said she didn’t have a phone. As my mind ran blank, I excused myself and said I’d see her around campus.
Pros: Got approach #1 out of the way. Found out I can talk to a girl and admit the truth that I’m attracted to her.
Cons: Asked stupid, non-threatening questions. In a matter of fact, too much questions. Not enough statements. Crazy lack of escalation. I felt like I was talking to a friend. Fuck that. I’m not here to get friend zoned. I’m here to get laid.
Approach #2: I ran into another cute Latina girl sitting bored, looking at her phone. At first, when I walked through the door into the campus building she was in, she didn’t notice me. Therefore, not to appear like this weird dude who approaches her after coming through the door, I went upstairs, looked around a bit, then came down again and did my approach. As to avoid performance based game, I told her my truth and said I found her cute and was attracted to her. She giggled and said thanks. However, I fell into the same pitfalls as approach #1 and asked too many questions. She told me she was going to school for criminal justice and said she was hoping to get into CIA/NSA. I made a few jokes about her being a “secret agent girl”. She laughed. Eventually, I asked for her phone number. She told me she had a boyfriend, but…
This is the part ALL you guys need to listen to. Every single dude who is afraid of direct approaching a woman.
She said she really appreciates being told that and I was the second dude in two years to ever cold approach her. She said I should keep doing it as it makes girls feel special. I laughed and said now she has a story to tell her boyfriend.
Pros: I got a compliment from a girl to keep doing what I’m doing. That was a huge boost. Believe me.
Cons: She had a boyfriend. Can’t be helped. Asking too many personal questions. Not enough escalation. I can’t say that enough.
Approach #3: While on the prowl, I met a 26 y/o A&P staff member (I forgot the exact job she had) walking down a set of stairs and out the doors to her car. This one wasn’t as eventful as the others. I said she was attractive and I wanted to meet her. She laughed, but spoke in a low, raspy tone and said she had a cold. I joked and said it’s ironic she worked in the health department and had a cold. Cheesy, I know, but whatever. We chatted a bit and after asking for her number told me she had a boyfriend. I let her go after a couple minutes.
Cons: Once again, not enough direct statements. Too. Many. Questions. What is this an interview? Jesus.
Approach #4: My favorite one. I saw this gorgeous, 5’11-6’1 or something Bulgarian exchange student walking out of the library to meet up with her friends at the gym. I was talking to another guy at the time, keeping my social mood up. The fucking second I saw her, my ass ditched him. Before I could lose her, I sprung my ass out the door to introduce myself to her. I yelled out “Hey!” She couldn’t hear me as she was wearing headphones. After a few times, I used a technique I learned from Mark Manson and Sasha Daygame and I went to the far left of her as to not surprise the girl and then did my approach.
The second she took off her headphones I was like, “Okay, I know this a little weird, but I saw you walking out the door and I thought you were cute. I didn’t want to miss my chance to say hi to you.” She giggled and blushed. At first, I didn’t know she wasn’t from the US, but the second she started speaking I asked where she was from. She said she was from Bulgaria and she came to my hometown due to a soccer scholarship. We chatted a bit, and yes, I fell into the same pitfalls I did last time, but unlike the others when I asked for her number, she said she didn’t have one, BUT…
She told me she had Snapchat and a few other apps and that I could add her. I agreed, typed up her Snapchat handle on my phone, and she added me on Snapchat, like, a few minutes ago. This was an hour later after she hit the gym. I said she should go out sometime. She responded by saying her friends and her usually go to Mexico to party, but she may make some time for me.
Pros: I approached a 8.5-9 gorgeous Bulgarian girls. I treated her like any other woman. Being “too hot” wasn’t a challenge to me. I was vulnerable and honest in my approach. She gave me her Snapchat and accepted my request.
Cons: I should work as a news anchor who interviews celebrities or something. I also felt any jokes I made weren’t exactly good. I need to be a better conversationalist.
Request: Fellow bros, I need your help on “Snapchat game”. I’m actually not good at “text game”. In the past, all I did for text game was use it for instructions like “Are you busy Friday? Let’s meet up at J’s Bar on Friday at 8pm.” I’m really aching to plow the girl. So any help or tips are appreciated.
BONUS: Approach #5: My last approach was actually, well, my first approach. The reason why I put approach 5 last was because it was at the job I work at and not at the college. This also happened today. Anyway, let’s continue on. I currently work as a medical assistant. We had this 30 year old Latina, cute, aged 30-35 come in for a workman’s comp. At first, I didn’t even game, I talked to her in a professional, yet sorta-kinda flirty manner. She responded positively everything I did. She laughed at all my jokes, gave me mad IOIs, like, I was stupid if I didn’t ask this girl for her number.
When I asked, she smiled and gave me her number. I waited 2-3 hours to text her as I felt like I should and this is the message history I have so far:
Me: “Hey it’s [my name] from the clinic.”
Me: “Be sure to save my number.”
Her: “Ok :)”
Pros: This is the moment I discovered honesty, truth, and vulnerability is the key. It’s not a technique. It’s expressing yourself and your desires. For some reason, and I think it’s the patient-medical staff status, I didn’t ask her a whole range of questions regarding her past.
Request: Like the Bulgarian girl, I asked her out on a date next Friday. That’s literally 8 days from now and far too long. How can I change the date without appearing indecisive? How can I text game her?
Thích Quảng Đức was a Vietnamese Mahayana Buddhist monk living in Saigon during the Vietnam War.
He was the monk who burned himself alive in protest to South Vietnamese corruption. However, despite being in flames, he never uttered a single word or scream. He was motionless.
This is superhuman, is it not? Literally, clinically, beyond normal human capabilities?
It’s insane that there’s not even one real explanation for how the monk was able to do that.
The entire crowd watching is gripped with horror, all affected and probably traumatized by the scene. And yet, Quảng Đức sits there, calm and postured, and wordless, while fire eats him alive.
He had meditated intensely in the months before his immolation. Meditation has profound effects on the nervous system. Master practitioners are capable of withstanding strong environmental stimuli.
And still. He knew for months what he would do to himself. That he would die in possibly the worst pain the human body can endure. He woke up every day with that thought in his head.
On the morning of, he put on his robes, knowing it would be the last time he would do so. Every step he took, he knew, would bring himself closer to the final spot, where the only thing that awaited him was agony beyond his worst nightmares.
And yet, Thích Quảng Đức walked upright towards it. All human instinct, existential fears and animal desire to avoid death at all costs meant nothing to this man, this superhuman.
Now imagine what I can do if I meditated? Any goals I have, any dream, any doubts stopping me from accomplishing my goals.
Repeat this before going out or at any time of the day:
I radiate love to everyone around me
I exude charisma because I maintain a positive lighthearted, loving energy at all times
There is no competition
I feel fucking amazing
Life is short and I am taking full advantage of it
Anytime I think a negative thought I replace it with a positive one.
Women love me
I am an incredible person
Women melt inside when I smile at them
I am improving each and every day
I am not afraid to get sexual because sexuality is beautiful
I am always leading the conversation and interaction
I radiate masculine power
Women crave a man like me on every level
All Women are in love with me, they just don’t know it yet
When I speak to anyone, an abundance of love is flowing out of me and they can feel it
People can feel it when I walk into a room
I am always in state because nothing matters
I love women and women love me
My body language is perfect
My eye contact is perfect
Practice makes perfect
I am learning and growing every day
I exude divine masculine presence
Women love it when I touch them
I am comfortable in any environment because wherever I go is my home
I never hide my attraction with a woman
I love the feminine sexual essence of a woman
When I fail, I automatically get better.
Failure is nothing to be afraid of.
I am what I think about so I choose to think about positive things.
If I have a negative thought, I immediately replace it with 5 positive ones.
I feel good, calm and relaxed at all times
I am getting more and more confident every single day
I am building the life that I want
Beautiful women love sex
I am always turning women on without realizing it
Whatever I think, I become
I use my imagination to manifest what I want in life
I am good enough because I am perfect
I am comfortable around all women
Believing in myself is the secret to my success
I am a god among men
I am always having fun with beautiful women
While listening to Roosh’s updated 2018 version called ‘Game’, he mentions the most important aspect of getting women isn’t logistics or motivation or living in a city with lots of girls, but rather inner game. It isn’t something I can see or touch. It’s an invisible force embedded in my mind that controls me every second of the day. It’s my belief system.
My goal is to attain mastery over my belief system and utilize it to accomplish my personal goals.
In order to do this, Roosh strongly suggests I have a daily or weekly affirmation session in which I repeat each belief to myself between 5-10 times, preferably out loud.
The following 7 beliefs are essential to being good with women, one that I have the opportunity to repeat to myself daily:
1.) I don’t care if I get laid with her, but I do care about getting laid: This one is simple. Don’t show interest in a girl over the interests of myself. Never, ever put pussy on a pedestal. I must not care about the success with any individual girl (even if I think she’s the hottest fucking thing in the world!), but instead care strongly about getting laid in general. I want to be the guy in the bar who wants to get laid more than any other man, but absolutely does not care if my top choice rejects me.
2.) A girl primarily evaluates my value based on how I treat her: Even after I maximize my physical attractiveness, what really determines my value to a girl is how I present myself to them. Which is something I can control unlike my height or facial structure. Women do not want to be with a man she thinks possesses lower value than her. She’s hardwired to date a man with higher value.
One thing Roosh notes, is that women look for shortcuts to judge value.
I can accomplish this by having social proof, where other women are giving me attention or being interesting or funny, but a far more important shortcut is by how I treat a woman.
If I don’t treat a woman well, it’s because she knows my value is much higher than hers. I treat her poorly because I believe she’s beneath me, therefore a man will be more attracted to a man who doesn’t constantly give her attention.
So no compliments (unless I really, and I mean really mean it.), no buying drinks or doing anything unless she impresses me first.
What does Roosh do? Walk up to a girl with your body erect and show her her beauty doesn’t have an effect on me, while throwing in a joke that girls usually buy me drinks, she may at least judge my worth at least equal to hers.
Even if my worth objectively isn’t higher than hers, act like it is. How will she know otherwise?
Remember Adam, you are above all others. You’ve known this for a long time.
3.) Every time I fail, I take one big step toward success: Failure is my teacher. With every failure, I can learn and adapt to what I did wrong and how I can correct it. It makes me stronger and increases the chances I’ll succeed in the future.
Let’s say I get rejected by a girl in an embarrassing way. Automatically, I’ll feel bad by drowning in a sea of negative thoughts. She thinks I’m a loser. I’m so ugly she doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. She thinks I’m scum of the Earth. Even if these thoughts wereaccurate a universal fact is that it takes an unknown amount of failures to achieve a single success. Statistically, being rejected actually makes success much more likely as long as I keep going.
Once I realized I learned something new from a failed approach, I can clearly see rejection and failure are absolutely necessary to succeed.
With rejection, I can learn what works for me and what doesn’t, while shedding the fear of rejection humans are born with.
The best strategy is to embrace rejection as an essential step on the road to success.
If I don’t accept this, I will not succeed with women.
Rejection is a barrier to separate the men who truly want to succeed and the ones who don’t.
Only adversity and rejection can strengthen a man, not success or comfort.
When I get rejected enough times, I begin to build a dataset of what works and what doesn’t to my unique personality, vibe, and environment.
If I’m failing soon after my approach, I know I’ll have to adjust my look, opener, or the type of girl I’m approaching. If I get alot of phone numbers, but girls aren’t responding to my first message, I know I have to strengthen the connection I make when first meeting them. If I’m getting girls back to my apartment, but they won’t sleep with me, I know I have to raise a girl’s level of comfort and trust at the key moment of intimacy.
Even if I can’t find a specific thing to learn from rejection, the fact that I did get rejected desensitizes me from future rejections. Strengthening my mental core. Paradoxically, rejection builds my confidence.
Unfortunately, the job in New Jersey didn’t pan out as expected. However, I discovered something incredibly important during my travel back to Yuma, AZ.
I decided to stay at a Ramada Inn in Scottsdale, AZ. During this time, I was given the opportunity to bar hop in Scottsdale or Tempe; both are renown for their impressive club scenes, but each consisting of a very different demographic in mind:
Tempe caters to the high energy, college crowd. You know the type: Raver or college girls who can’t hold a conversation for very long, but given the right energy and attitude, you can go far with these women, especially if you can dance. Easier, but you NEED to exude fun loving (but exhausting) energy to succeed.
Scottsdale caters to young, professional women in their late 20s or 30s. Yeah, they like guys who are interesting and who can hold their attention, but the energy required to expend on them isn’t nearly as much as Tempe girls. They are, alternatively, much more conversation based and while dancing is important, it doesn’t appear to have as much a foothold compared to college types.
For gentlemen who prefer the slower crowd and have intermediate or advanced level of game, you can do quite well with these type of women.
As you may have guessed, I discovered I had much better attraction and feminine attention in Scottsdale. Granted, I visited Scottsdale bars and clubs during the first half of my night out and therefore hadn’t wasted any mental energy socializing, but from what I’ve seen, going solo in so-called “Snobsdale” worked wonders for me.
I met a marketer (let’s call her Eva) from NYC who I really connected with. Eva is a pale, Irish descendant woman (mid-30s, but by God she looked like she was in her late 20s) who flew into Scottsdale adjoined by two co-workers to impress a client interested in buying some sort of product. I’d personally rate her an 8.6/10. She laughed at all my jokes, including any negging I did, leaned in to any touching on her shoulder and arms, and even when Eva’s friends left her – she decided to stay and chat it up with me. Unfortunately, her friends forcefully pulled her aside and left after an hour of returning. This taught me two valuable lessons:
1.) Escalate faster.
2.) Befriend her co-workers (which reminds me how absolutely vital social circle game is).
After Eva left, I was able to hold at least three other minor conversations with women in the area. Not important, but notable approaches that went past “Hi”.
And with that, I’m adding “young professional women” as a demographic I can connect with.
I guess I’m growing too old for the young, dumb college girls! Unless, perhaps, the venue is quieter.
Recently, I was given two positions as an entry-level Software Engineer in New Jersey. All I have to do is meet up with a Big Data employer for my first opportunity or pass a programming assessment for my second opportunity. If I ace either one of these interviews, I will be able to get the dream life I’ve pursued for years and get one step closer toward being a full on bulldog.
It’s been 7 months since I’ve made my last post on Adam’s Ladder. I’ve decided to put down game until I’m financially secure enough to live the life I want to. Once that’s done, I can finally rededicate myself fully to the art of game.
As a recently graduated Software Engineer, I need to prepare myself for the inevitable technical interview and will use this post to log my weaknesses, how to fix them, and any methodologies available to become a better programmer.
I’m very goal oriented and will list down what I want to accomplish within the next few months:
September, 2018: Prepare for the technical interview. Use InterviewCake to practice, track my weaknesses, and enough knowledge of algorithms to pass the technical interview. Do 8 pomodori 4 days/week/off-days; 4-5 pomodori 3 days/week/work-days.
October, 2018: Land a job. I need to land a job before or during October. The sooner the better. I’ll do this by waking up every morning at 5:30am and sending 4-5 applications M-F.