I’ve learned there are three main emotions us humans feel when we’re driven to complete our projects or accomplish our goals:
Action.
Mindset.
Feelings.
In this simple, yet effective approach by John Sonmez, I start by performing action. In order to change my mindset, I must act as the person I want to be (ie. the ‘ideal Adam’) by faking it until I make it. I will act as if I’m already the ideal Adam, as if I’ve already obtained true self-confidence, sporting an impressive physique, and I’m the prize in a relationship. Act as if I’m the person I want to be. This is action.
After a while, my subconscious will internalize my actions and will say, “Hey, that’s fucking weird. I thought you were a shy and socially anxious person who’s afraid of rejection.”
“But… you keep on talking to girls every single day without fear. What the fuck are you doing, dude?”
“Wait a minute…”
“This can’t be right…”
“…based on your actions, you must be a confident, alpha male!”
In the past, I erroneously believed changing my mindset through self-induced hypnotherapy, listening to self-help YouTube videos, and repeating positive affirmations will inevitably change my actions and feelings. While not completely false, and while changing my mindset can help me become confident, study longer hours, or help me hit on as many girls as I possibly can – they’re not THE definitive answer.
What has happened, however, is a temporary change of mindset. For example, let’s reflect on my attitude and personality at work. At times, particularly after consuming a caffeinated beverage (ie. Rockstar Energy Drink or Starbucks Frappe), I get a dopamine rush. All of a sudden, I’m happy, I playfully tease my co-workers, speak to patients in a pleasant, calm, and slow tone, and if they’re attractive women, my voice deepens and I get into my “ideal Adam” persona.
Now, to be fair, this isn’t bad. Not at all.
I simply need to focus on acting out my desires instead of psyching myself up beforehand.
Just do. Don’t think. And I will eventually become whatever I desire.