What Does It Mean When I’m Playing To Win vs. Playing Not To Lose In Game?

I believe learning the mindset of playing to win versus playing not to lose is the next stepping stone in mastering game. As it stands, I’m able to do spontaneous openers, establish a premise and close a girl. However, what I’m missing in my game is making things uncomfortable and embracing sexual tension.

How can I play to win infield?

  1. Don’t play it safe: When I talk to a girl, I feel like I try to make her like me by being a “fun guy”. I’m chatty, act funny, but overall, once I feel like I’ve built a little attraction, I start playing it safe and begin to play to not lose.

    I need to be more controversial. Give the girl more shit.

    Build more attraction by playing to win and build sexual tension between the girl and I. Be more aggressive. Do better push-pull lines. Don’t worry about caring what her (or others) think. Don’t fall into her frame. Control it.

    If I feel a girl is attracted to me, I do minor push-pull lines, but they’re too safe. For example, instead of “Yeah, you’re kinda cute,” the push being “kinda”. I should take it a step further and say, “Yeah, you’re kinda cute. I mean, you’re not Megan Fox cute, but I can work with it.”

    That’s a much better alternative.
  2. Lead more: I’m getting better at this, but I used to number close or try and aim for an instadate with, “So, are you available to go to Starbucks?” or “Hey, can I get your number?”

    Those two lines are needy and permission seeking.

    A better alternative would be:

    “Hey, so you seem coo- wait, are you adventurous?” On que, she responded with “Yes”. “Ok cool, we can hang out. What’s your number?”

    “You look like you need a break. Come on, there’s a Starbucks a few stores away. Let’s go.”
  3. Escalate faster: When I’m out at night game, I constantly play not to lose. If I feel a girl is into me, I don’t escalate properly until I feel I’m in a safe location or the girl is available to dance. For some reason, I only escalate when I’m dancing with a girl. It’s fast and easy. However, I need to learn to escalate at the bar and on the spot if a girl if giving me blatant signs.
  4. Pass shit tests better: I’m getting better at this. Remember, if a girl makes a negative remark on my outfit or my vibe, I need to fall on two tactics that aren’t safe and definitely play to win:

    a.) Agree and Amplify: “Oh yeah, maybe I should stop letting my grandma doing my shopping for me.”

    b.) Misinterpret: If a girl comments on my outfit, just say, “Jeez, it’s a bit too early to be checking me out, don’t you think?”

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