On 06/20/20, Saturday, Chris, Rakesh (my Indian wing) and I ventured off to the Harp to prepare for a night-long session of game. The night started off entertaining since we literally had to bribe the bouncer $20 to let Chris in since the club hit 25% capacity.
We spent about 30 minutes at the Harp, but the vibe didn’t sit right with us. It was too crowded. The gender ratio was skewed. Game could be played, but not optimally. So we left to Trinity bar.
Now, we did a fair amount of approaches. We didn’t go crazy like we did yesterday, but we got the job done.
This field report will be dedicated to a single set which reflects my inner game and a reminder I’m not an AFC like I was in the past. I’m not clueless on how women operate. I have had success thanks to the PUA community. And I’m certainly not early-mid 2010s Adam who envied other sexually successful men.
It’s a lesson dealing with envy – or as the literary circles call it, the Green Eyed Monster.
Anyway, onto the set:
Once Chris, Rakesh, and I entered Trinity, we did a few approaches, before deciding to chill at a bench in the smoking area. During this time, we lost Rakesh, so it was Chris and I who gave an overview of our previous sets.
I told Chris I wasn’t feeling “in state”. Due to the socially exhausting game session we had last night (combined with alcohol), I had moderate AA and didn’t feel like talking to anyone.
Just then, a cute Irish girl – let’s call her Cara – and her thick German friend, decided to sit at our bench. She asked for a cigarette, before the German said she’d buy one off of us. I shrugged and said if I took a few hits off her vape pen I’d let her have one.
Of course, she did. I engaged Cara while Chris ran game on the German. My mistake was not establishing premise early on, but rather, talking in-depth on EDM concerts. It was completely platonic, which came back to bite me in the ass as you’re about to see.
While Chris and I ran game, some blonde-haired dude barges into our set. Now, it wasn’t his fault. Turns out Cara and dude knew each other from high school. Unfortunately, it killed our interaction.
The guy began engaging me and I pretended to care whatever the fuck he had to say. Lots of “Blah, blah, blah…” filler talk, to be honest.
After a while, Rakesh found us, but I seriously had to hit the restroom thanks to a few beers I drank beforehand.
Once I returned, the German and blonde-haired dude vanished. According to Rakesh, they ran off to the bar to order a few rounds. Meanwhile, Chris was engaging Cara in a deep conversation. I chilled for a bit, before Rakesh offered to buy her and Chris a drink.
At the bar, Cara introduced ourselves to her friends: Lots of girls, a few dudes, but fate was in our favor.
I chatted up one of Cara’s friends – we’ll call her Lucy – but our conversation was strongly platonic. I mean, I ran game via push-pulls, cold reads, with bits of filler in-between… but Lucy was cold. She was easily distracted and I wasn’t compelling enough to elicit a response beyond “oh hey random friendly guy”.
It sucked, but eh, I understand. Lucy was surrounded by her friends and I didn’t convey a playful personality or sexual vibe. I was all game. I treated her like an object (and not in the good way) or a target to game; not like a human being with a distinct personality and blueprint.
After a while, I lost Lucy and her friends. I was socially exhausted, so I sat down at a bench and lit a cigarette.
Before long, Chris walks outside, looks around, and then runs at me with a big ‘ol grin on his face. I was puzzled, but intrigued at the same time. Our conversation went a little like this:
“Bro, bro, bro!”
“Yo man, how did it go?”
“Fuckin’ crazy man. So we were dancing, right? I don’t know what came over me, but I pulled her in and we started making out! Fuck man, I’m glad I met you and Rakesh! It was an experience, bro!”
“Hell yeah, nice! Alright… now I’m curious, what game did you do on her?”
“That’s the crazy part! Nothing bro! It’s, like, I didn’t do ANY game on her! It felt natural, man.”
(Forgive the excessive exclamation points. We were in a state of excitement.)
I mulled over his words closely. I mean, I was happy for him. Really, I was. Chris and I share similar backgrounds: Lonely AFCs who didn’t know how to attract women -> We discovered the PUA community -> Practiced. Put in the hard work -> Started getting good… before lockdown fucked us over.
But I admit, a slight tinge of envy crept over me. I mean, didn’t I game harder than him? Didn’t I open all the sets? Didn’t I put in the labor required to get good at this? If he didn’t game and got the girl…
Is my game fundamentally flawed?
A cascade of thoughts swept over me for hours on in. My mood considerably dampened. Even as Chris, Rakesh, and I hopped from bar-to-bar, club-to-club, we seldom did any approaches after that.
Chris noticed my silent demeanor. He was skeptical, but didn’t say much. He could see I was visibly deep in thought, almost socially disconnected as I pondered his game stratagem.
If I was AFC Adam from years past, I simply would have wallowed in my self-pity while ignoring Chris or gave him my best shit-eating grin. I had an innate desire to know what he did right and possibly replicate it into my game repertoire if suitable.
I knew I couldn’t disregard my game entirely. Before the lockdown, I managed to secure three notches and seven make-outs with cute girls over the span of 4 months. I was rusty, yes, but even before the lockdown, I lacked a certain human element in my game.
Whatever knowledge he possessed would undoubtedly prove useful in my future PUA endeavors.
As we walked along Water Street’s bar strip, I set down my ego and asked:
“It’s been bugging me, man. So, like, what did you say to Cara? We were both taught pickup techniques, game structures, and concepts. There must have been somethin’.”
He paused, internalized my question, and came to three conclusions:
Lesson #1: Comfort. While insignificant on the surface, both Cara and Chris aren’t drinkers (apparently Cara is, but not a heavy one). According to Chris, both of them are peer pressured by their friends to drink, but both vehemently deny alcohol due to a prior history of alcoholism.
He managed to emotionally connect with her on deeper topics afterward, but the spark ignited by the simple conversation topic of “we don’t drink due to emotional trauma we both endured in the past”.
Lesson #2: Rakesh. Our Indian wing was a major factor in Chris’ success with Cara. He’s an expert in wingmanship, and more than that, he feels deep satisfaction when one of his bros gets the girl. He’s a very tribal in that sense, which serves as a benefit to all of his close friends and himself.
Lesson #3: Luck. This lesson was posted last since it’s inherently out of Chris’ hands. However, if the blonde-haired dude and the German hadn’t left, there’s a possibility he wouldn’t have been able to isolate Cara. A few other factors come into play here, including a shared history of struggling with alcoholism, Cara’s inherent warm personality, etc.
At the end of the night, I internalized these lessons and felt a better man for learning from vicarious experience from a good friend.
I could have chosen the “dark side” and envied him.
I could have pussied out and not ask what he did right.
But overall, I consider this night a win for both Chris, Rakesh, and myself.
Addendum: I need to act more like a person in set. Todd V gives a perfect example on fixing it: