- I’m able to consistently get instadates (at least once a week), but the girls don’t seem to hook or chase as strongly as I want them to. When I text them back, I get a flaky number. How can I get a solid number from an instadate?
Answer: JP states I come off as high-value, but I don’t have the girls chase me. I’ll need to reframe the entire interaction so it seems that the girl is chasing me. How can I do that? For example, when a girl is flustered, saying something like, “Oh, you don’t have to be so nervous around me. I like you already, I think you’re pretty cool.”
It’s a mindset I want to have going forward.
JP states all interactions start off with the guy chasing the girl. However, 20-30 minutes in, I want the girl thinking, “He likes me, but I’m not really sure if he likes me anymore.”
So I do that by evaluation, qualification, etc.
For example, when my target told me about being an environmental engineer (or any occupation)… what’s one way I could disqualify her on that? Like, “Ah, I just don’t approve.” That mindset. How did I respond?
“Ehh I hang out with a bunch of engineers, you know what, every time I meet an engineer, I just don’t along with them. I hope, I hope you’re not like that. We talked for five minutes, I don’t think you are though. We’ll see.”
^ Technically JP’s response, but it’s a perfect answer.
When the girl gives me information, I want to take it and play it with this frame of, “Adam is the shit, are you?”
So when I say, “I want a girl to chase me, I want her to do this and that…” basically what I’m saying is, “I want to be the one putting in less effort.“
And so I do that by actually putting in less effort.
Therefore, when I get on a date, I let the girl do all the talking.
A good way to do that is when I go on instadates, I can lay back, relax, let the girl do the talking and ask you the questions.
To reiterate, the first 10-15 minutes, it’s up to me to carry the conversation, but after that that’s really when I want to lay back; especially on the instadate itself.
Once again, to make the number/date solid, have her invest more.
Insomuch, I may need to risk a little bit of social awkwardness so that she’s the one investing in the conversation.
- Sometimes, when an instadate is going well, I get nervous and I start becoming less invested in the interaction. How can I get over self-sabotage during an instadate?
Answer: When my nerves start kicking in set, bring up topics that are fun for me in the interaction. Although, to be fair, JP still has this issue from time to time.
So, instead of feeling like I have to put in the effort – which is exhausting – just take it easy and relax. For example, when JP is on instadates, he hates talking. He really wants the girl to start talking alot; so when the girl starts asking questions, he may flip the questions back on her; and if a girl starts telling stories, he may start giving affirmations (ie. “Oh, that’s actually pretty cool”, “Why did you get into that?”)
To reiterate, if I ever start feeling nervous walking to an instadate venue or on the date itself, it’s okay to let the other person do the talking.
JP also states I build up far more attraction than most students he works with, but they cash out on that attraction. I don’t.
She already likes me, so I don’t have to put in the effort.
- When I started game, my goal was to simply approach -> then it was passing shit tests so girls can hook -> then it was to be compelling enough to get instadates. However, now that I’m able to consistently get instadates, what should my next goal be?
Answer: Go for same-day-lay. ‘Nuff said.