10/24/20 – Revisiting Old Mistakes

Fuuuuuuuuck! So close, yet so far. Did six approaches today in Chicago, got three numbers. Each a flake but I could pinpoint the exact reason why they’re flakes. Worse yet, it’s shit I already knew how to avoid.

Let’s just get to the approaches:

Approach #1The Data Analyst

Synopsis: Met a cute redhead taking a walk. Decided to be adventurous and said, “Hey, let’s go to the beach!” in Chicago. Only been there once and knew the general direction of where it was. The girl and I got lost. She had to redirect us to the proper direction and I qualified a fuckton (not verbally tho) by having her lead the way.

What I Did Right:

Subtle Qualification: During the conversation, I was able to pinpoint her position as an IT professional and said, “Hey, I know a few IT guys, but they’re all nerdy and boring. And I’m hoping you’re a fun person.”

She bought in and qualified.

Silence So She Invests: I decided to take JP’s advice and during the middle-end of our interaction I decided to stay quiet so she asks questions. Let her do all the work.

Tried Something Adventurous: I’ll admit, the decision to head to the beach isn’t a bad thing overall. Technically, it’s very good! It’s just that I should have known exactly where the beach was beforehand, not just the general direction.

Commanding and Leading: I did particularly good leading the interaction and where we travel to during the beginning and middle of the set.

Sticking Point:

Having Her Lead: Oh God, oh fuck. I knew shit was going south when she started leading us back to where we originally met up at. Next time, choose a location I know or try something adventurous, yet solid.

Comments: Never choose to visit a location I know nothing about.

Audio recording here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6S3xssiEfs

Approach #2The Accountant

Synopsis: Met a cute, isolated blonde waiting for her ride. Did very good overall, but stuck around too long and didn’t leave on a high note even though her co-worker was picking her up. Felt needy.

What I Did Right:

Honestly, Most Things: I felt the interaction itself was solid. Like, I was pretty damn sexual, yet fun. I managed to use the Yes Ladder successfully, while (un)successfully qualified her when I hoped she was a fun IT professional.

Sticking Point:

Sticking Around Too Long: I felt like I lingered much longer than I needed to. I believe it stems from a sense of neediness and hoping she abandons her co-worker in exchange for me. I gotta remember: She’s on a schedule, she’s busy. Just display high value behavior + qualify her and snatch the number on a high note.

Comments: Listen to Bobman on this one: Just leave on a high note.

Audio recording here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_2z098BoQk

Approach #3The Hotel Manager

Synopsis: Met a black haired chick on the streets. She was neutral, leaning receptive. Made the comment, “Man, I could really use coffee right now” next to a Starbucks. It was tiny and I didn’t like it. Barely any sitting room.

When she went to a nearby WalGreens and I said, “A’ight, we’ll keep in contact. I’d feel weird heading in there with ya…” which could potentially be correct, but in this situation, I established myself as high value enough that I could have walked in with her and it wouldn’t have hurt a damn thing.

What I Did Right:

High Value Behavior Despite Circumstances: She was the least hottest of the three. My target was slightly overweight, but she had what we call the “100 yard stare”, in which she looked hotter from the distance. Don’t get me wrong, her face was cute, but she was a little “thick”, which I don’t care much for anymore.

Yet, despite all this, I did the best I possibly could until…

Sticking Point:

I Started Losing Interest: Yeah, she wasn’t the hottest, but she was definitely within the ‘bangable’ range. I felt like I didn’t want to exude so much effort in this set since she was 30 and a little “thick”.

Wooshing Over Opportunities: “Man, I could really use coffee right now”, oh come on, I could have at least gotten coffee and aimed for a same-day-lay. Doesn’t matter how small the Starbucks is. Just gotta remember not to overreach my value.

Negative Frame: “A’ight, we’ll keep in contact. I’d feel weird heading in there with ya…” is a classic negative frame. I could have simply just number closed and hit her up later on in the day.

Comments: Don’t ever miss out on obvious opportunities for an instadate or otherwise.

Audio recording here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPtbcUs-XPg

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