As a pickup artist, I can project sexual intent and catch a solid phone number once a week. My mistake was throwing out fundamentals like sexual intent in order to practice emotional connection. I came off as a shy, but confident guy who decided to talk to a girl.
This was the incorrect way of doing things.
What I should focus on instead is calibration.
After speaking to fastlife15 on Reddit, he provided pure gold when it comes to calibration:
“Calibrate. Pressure on. Pressure off. When you feel a girl getting overwhelmed, calibrate. If you’re talking really fast or talking over her (like in your hipster latina FR when you don’t let her finish her thoughts). slow down. If you’re too close, take a step back. If you teased her too hard, say something like, “Sorry, I’m an asshole,” or “Sorry, I have no home training.” If you’re talking really loud, turn down the volume (but still in BR). If you’re teasing her or doing attraction stuff, tone down the emotional pitch of the convo, maybe throw in a few interview mode questions, etc.
Let that ride for a couple minutes then go back to what you were doing before, except toned down like 10%. Repeat until you’re vibing. Eventually, you’ll be able to do this in your sleep.”
“Again it’s a volume knob. I’d handle these girls the same way, but I’d just tone it down. Think more along the lines of “how sexual intent looks/sounds when you wake up in bed on a lazy sunday after hooking up with the girl last night” (lower energy, slower, less talkative” vs “how sexual intent (stereotypically) looks/sounds in a night club (louder, more in your face). The sexual intent itself is the same–but the behaviors you express it through are just more toned down.
Also, slow down a little. Like when you feel her getting overwhelmed, just pitch a few softball questions that are more open-ended. Like, for shy girls, when she tells you her major say, “That’s dope. So what inspired you to pick that?” vs. busting on her like you might do on a girl who’s already feeling the vibe.”