After meditating on being aware and present in any given interaction, I believe James Marshall’s methods to project yourself out into the world is good. However, I discovered a YouTube video by Julien Blanc and Owen Cook (aka Tyler Durden) that I think may be exceptionally helpful when it comes to mall day game.
First, what is “getting present in the moment” or as James Marshall calls it, awareness? It’s not worrying about the past or future.
Julien states a good first step to become aware is “focusing on the now” – this is what James Marshall espouses. It’s great, but eventually, once I stop meditating on being present, I slip back to where I originally was.
However, a better question is: What’s all this muck that’s pulling me away from being present by default?
By instead of escaping my thoughts by trying to focus on presence, just let go of it.
Here’s another subtly: We think if embrace something like anger or frustration, we’re going to propel more of it. But in reality, by embracing it and feeling it, I will feel more whole by default; and all those “negative emotions” will start fading away.
You can only attack it indirectly. You can rid of the frustration by embracing the frustration… and it won’t come up as much.
While expressing it can be good, it doesn’t get to the cause.
So, in my case, let’s say I’m approaching a girl at the mall. If I “express my frustration or AA” in set, it usually just takes away a little bit of that pressure.
But that’s all it is: We get rid of the pressure to get a little off, but keep the rest of it stuffed in us.
Yes, I can express my AA in malls, but the key is release it, process it, and feel it.
Feeling is the key.
What most people do is attach to the good (ie. confidence, sexual intent, etc) and resist the bad (ie. AA, feeling of being trapped, etc).
Because of that I’m stuck in this constant, perpetual state of suffering.
The key is to let go of the resistance of the bad and attachment to the good and embrace it all.
Funny enough, when you embrace it all, that’s when you feel for the first time.
Note: Practice this during my scrum meetings at work. How do I feel? What am I feeling? How can I use this in my every day life?