After gaming Polish Paulina last Saturday, I discovered my next objective in game: Instadate + Pull.
I don’t want to write a long narrative of what instadates + pulling entails, but u/fastlife15 provided an excellent insight of what that is:
Honestly, for where you are right now, I’d focus more on trying to instadate and pull. Like that should be your goal. Here’s why:
- IME (which is mostly night game for the record, tho I have pulled during the day), it’s easier to pull than it is to get a girl to show up for a date.
- It will help you work through your entitlement issues quicker. Me pointing out where a girl is into you after the fact is one thing; but actually having that same girl back at your place, doing her thang an hour or two after you meet her is a totally different reference experience. Like if you had pulled this girl, the next suburban boujie white girl, you would be like, Hell ya, this girl wants me. I fucked a girl 10x hotter than her that one time.
- It will force you to work through logistics. Leaving on a high note with a number is an easy copout, versus working through those obstacles and objections and risking all that good validation. Plus, if logistics are fucked, you can still just settle for a phone number.
- Those kind of reference experiences (sleeping with a sober girl hella quick) will help you get a more accurate view of female sexuality in general, versus the guy who thinks girls don’t like sex and you have to take her on 3 dates and have all these super long text conversations (which will be 100% true if you’re not leading the interaction).
With that goal, you’ll be getting a shitload more references. And from there, you can start working on doing solid number closes.
Some girls give you very little to work with (like way less than this one or the Bosnian in Chicago). Some are more expressive. But the only way to know these are greenlights is to push the accelerator. Like I said, it’s one thing for me to tell you this (from my own reference experiences of pushing sets and escalating on girls where I literally thought, OMG, she totally HATES me but I’m gonna do it for science and having it work) vs. testing those IOIs for yourself and taking that leap of faith for yourself and seeing how girls react with your own two eyes.
If you keep pushing your comfort zones, you’ll grow into that entitlement, since you’ll gather those same references.
Learn to trust your gut. Your head is full of bullshit about being a short out of shape Asian and will psyche you out. Or better yet, fuck your gut and your head and just push it to see what happens. Like I said, I’ve pulled girls (including one of my all time favs) where I 100% thought they hated me and who I would’ve bailed on and ejected if I was listening to my gut or my head.
This is actually a solid strategy. But instadate + pull. In fact, this would be my modus operandi for 8s, 9s, and 10s in general. They’re very, very, very hard to get out later. Like, it can happen, but even if you’re running really solid game in set, they have a whole world of options outside of it and you’ll have to really work those numbers and deal with a bunch of flakes and nonresponse and chasing girls around, sometimes for months at a time (ask me how I know lol). Vs. you have sex, shoot the shit a little, qualify her on being spontaneous, play it cool (like it happens all the time) and then she just comes over the next time you hit her up.
Just be ready to handle objections with stuff like: “Only for a minute.” “I’ve got to be up early tomorrow.” “I’ll give you a ride back to your car.” “I thought you were spontaneous.” Etc., etc. In fact, I’d probably throw in a false time constraint before even making that offer. And, if the girl’s more iffy, I wouldn’t mention my place at all. Just say you know a place to get drinks and then be like, “Oh, shit. I left my ID at my place.” Then when you get there, you can be like, “Actually, I have wine here. One drink.” Etc., etc.
Part of the reason you need to try pulling is so that you can learn to deal with all that stuff and actually figure out how to get from A to C instead of always stopping at B. Most of the girls you instadate will have other stuff going on and that’s cool. But that’s why you need to practice this stuff every chance you get. And it’s better to try something and have it bomb or get awkward (just recover by staying upbeat and being chill) and giving yourself a chance than it is not to try at all.
My new objective when it comes to 8s, 9s, and 10s is to go for the instadate; especially if I get mad IOIs like this one. When it comes to 6s and 7s, I’ll probably see how receptive they are. If they’re open (no plans for the day, bored, etc), I’ll probably go for the instadate. If not, probably number close.
Just trying to pull–even shakily–is a huge step forward. Next time, just focus on making it less of a big deal. The more you treat it like it’s the most normal thing in the world, the more likely she’ll be to fall into that frame.
From John Sonmez:
Guys, I’ve been practicing pickup for 7 months straight; 4-5 times a week; 3-5 approaches each time. However, with winter hitting us fuckin’ hard in Milwaukee, I’ve only been going out 3 times a week, chatting up 3-5 girls at a time.
It feels weird. Like, I feel like I should be hitting my normal day game venues more.
It’s a little discouraging since I exclusively focus on game, but what do you guys suggest?
That’s still a good amount of volume. I wouldn’t be too concerned. The key is to be more bold with your approaches and put yourself outside of your comfort zone. The main reasons guys don’t increase their skills is because they approach but they don’t raise the stakes.