03/05/21 – A Lesson In Handling Friends

On 03/05/21, Saturday, I decided to hit up Big Shotz with a wing, despite my unfamiliarity with night game. I’ll be honest: I didn’t feel comfortable operating (mostly) by myself despite having a perfectly good resource I could’ve utilized.

My wing is a natural with women. He’s confident, willing to help a fellow brutha out, and chill af.

At the end, I only managed to do two approaches. I hate saying this, but I had AA since during night game; you’re given far more opportunities to approach isolated sets during the day vs night. Therefore, I had no experience handling groups, or hell, anything more than a 2-set.

That, accompanied by the fact night clubs are loud, filled with 5 chodes tryna hit up a single girl, etc.

I felt like a fish outta water.

But, like all aspects of game, I need to adjust and grow comfortable with my new environment. So I vowed to night game at least once a week.

Despite the fact I only did two approaches, only one is worth logging on this report.

Approach #1The Baby Faced 8 and Her Jealous Friend

Synopsis: An hour or so after hitting up Big Shotz with my wing, I spotted this extraordinarily cute and baby-faced girl from the smoking patio outside. Fuck, I knew I had to talk to her. However, upon casual observation, I noticed girls getting hit up left and right by other dudes at the club; but my target and her friend were left alone.

Either the guys were a.) Pussies, but it’s doubtful given that they hit up groups of girls or b.) Someone was cockblocking them.

Eh, fuck it, I thought and I decided to go inside with my wing.

After inching our way toward my target, my wing and I vibed to the music, but I felt mad AA radiate from my core. Like, my gut screamed at me to approach, but my brain just fuckin’ refused.

“You’re a day gamer, night game isn’t for you,” “The music fuckin’ sucks. Put me in an EDM club and you’re gucci,” you name it, my brain dreamt it up.

It took me 10 minutes before I decided to man up and approach.

As the music died down, I approached my girl from the side and opened with, “Hey, why’re you talkin’ shit about everybody?” Despite my anxiety, I played the shit outta the role. Like she just called everyone in a 10 mile radius a pussy and a fag.

“What?! I’m not talking shit about anyone!”

“It’s ‘cuz I work at Wal-Mart isn’t it?”

“What?! No!”

I grin wide, “I’m just fuckin’ with you. What’s your name?”

I felt alleviated – alive. Like a huge burden was lifted from my shoulders as I gouged her response. She was highly receptive, flirty, and we both vibed with positive energy.

She made me laugh, I spiked her BT a fuckton and everything felt perfect. Except for one significant problem: Her friend.

She didn’t say a word, nor did I try bringing her into the conversation to share the positive energy. So it was entirely my fault she dragged my girl off by saying, “Hey, let’s go find our friends,” despite the fact my wing and I knew damn well they came as a duo.

Nevertheless, after speaking with u/fastlife15 on WhatsApp, he stated my target’s friend felt left out and jealous of all the good energy I’m giving my girl. Therefore, she decided to bounce.

He also left me with invaluable advice: “It isn’t the girl who chooses if she goes home with you tonight. It’s her friends. Remember that.”

However, despite losing the set, something strange happened…

My target’s friend – sans target – decides to return by herself!

Granted, she was hot – also an HB 8 – but she had a boring, I-don’t-want-to-be-here vibe. Like, she’s the type of girl who’d give you incredibly subtle IOIs and you damn well better know how to spot ’em.

We chatted a bit, but I just wasn’t feelin’ it. I initially thought I fucked up by having her go down a ‘no ladder’ by performing a few incorrect cold reads. For example, “Alright, I feel like your friend is the wild, crazy troublemaker of the group and you’re like the chill one who makes sure shit doesn’t go south.”

“No, no, we’re both chill.”

Shit, I thought, she said ‘no.’

After saying ‘no’ again to another cold read, the vibe began drastically declining, despite the fact I was never ‘on’ with this girl. It wasn’t long before she bounced and the set officially ended.

Anyway, a big PUA concept is the ‘yes ladder’. It’s a psychological phenomenon which states the more someone says ‘yes’ to you, the more inclined they are to like you as a person or comply with requests you make. Consequently, the reverse is true. If they say ‘no’ to you a few consecutive times over, there’s a higher chance the set will end prematurely.

I’ve seen this theory proven over and over again infield.

Of course, who do I call when I’m confused in set? Yep, u/fastlife15.

His answer was phenomenal and hit the nail right in the head.

It wasn’t the fact the friend went down a ‘no ladder’, it was my vibe. When I ran game on the super cute HB 8, I was alive, fun, radiating positive energy, and her friend could feel that. She returned because she thought I’d give the same energy to her.

But no, I was kinda bummed my target vanished and gave off a bad vibe. Since she sensed I wasn’t in my same fun, positive mode I was with my girl, she left the set.

Overall, it was a highly educational learning experience; but most importantly, a telltale sign I need to practice night game.

What I Did Right:

Did The Approach: Since I’m new to practicing night game seriously, I’m going to count this as a win. Two approaches are far better than pussying out and doing none.

Good Value Based Game: There’s lots of carry over from day game to night game. I jacked the value meter up to 100 during night game. I wouldn’t dare the same fun, high-energy game consisting very little comfort during the day.

While I may have overdid it, I believe I’ll inevitably find the perfect mix of value and physical based comfort for night game.

Sticking Points:

Didn’t Handle The Friend: My biggest mistake of the night. If I just handled my target’s friend correctly, the set may have had a very different outcome.

What I’ll Do Next Time:

Handle The Friend: If I had to re-do the set, I’d have two options…

a.) Share the good, fun energy with both the HB 8 and her friend -> lead them around the bar for drinks -> pull my girl away from her friend.

b.) Bring my wing in to handle the friend, while I game my girl.

Keep A Fun, Positive Vibe Even After A Rejection: A big reason why the friend ejected out of set was my vibe. I didn’t bring the same fun, high-energy Adam I ran on my target. I believe Julien Blanc best expresses this as, “Come from a give, give, give frame. Not a take, take, take frame.” If I just focused on having fun, no matter who it was with, I’d have a better night overall.

Comments: Remember, every Friday go out and night game.

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