In accordance with my new game objectives, I’ve decided to transfer mPUA instructors for inner game from James Marshall to Julian Blanc. I personally resonate with his style better and – as a interesting side note – he acted as Fast Life’s primary instructor.
Let’s start with our first lesson: Be fun, be carefree, and find something passionate you like talking about.
The Law of State Transference
Whatever you feel, the other person feels.
Let’s repeat that: Whatever you feel, the other person feels.
What most people do is find out what other people find interesting and play into that. They try to push the other person’s buttons. The idea is that if they push the right buttons, said person will laugh and they’ll come across as charismatic.
But that doesn’t work.
What really works is instead of pushing someone else’s buttons, flip the script, and PUSH YOUR OWN BUTTONS.
And by doing so, you’re going to feel amazing and that will transfer onto the other person.
Important: My goal isn’t to chase, it’s to suck in.
As a final note, once I find out what entertains me – pretty much what I find interesting – other people will as well.
Your Three Inner Buttons
As an individual, I have three main buttons: Fun, carefree, and passion. These three things are the foundation of charisma and the so-called “vibe” of an interaction.
What does that mean?
Every single person wants to have more fun. They go through the day-to-day grind, and any source of fun, they’ll go for it. That has value.
Being carefree. Just not giving a fuck. Be more relaxed, not taking themselves so seriously, everyone wants that as well.
Being passionate – or excited and engaged, there’s that flame of life burning inside of you because you’re so passionate about something.
Those three things in terms of the vibe will attract anyone.
This requires me to find out what I find funny. A big thing about charisma, is it’s not about what someone is saying or doing, but rather finding out what my version of that is.
Look at how charismatic people are feeling – not the doing – but the being, and ask myself, what can I say or do to feel the exact same way.
Every person’s sense of humor is completely different; and I got to discover mine.
So what is my type of humor? On the surface, I’m silly, but do I really enjoy it? It will take time, but I will inevitably figure it out.
Another thing to do is audit when I laugh throughout the day. If I don’t laugh very much, lower the bar. Laugh more. Be like a kid.
The best way to loosen up is to laugh at myself – or learn self-deprecating humor. Todd V states I shouldn’t do this, but as I’m learning Julian Blanc inner game, and I’m great at building up value, I feel it’s perfectly acceptable.
The formula to use for carefree is: Embrace, exaggerate, laugh.
For example, let’s same I’m out infield for hours at a time. I’m tired, physically exhausted, and simply want to eject early out of my schedule game session.
Don’t go against that feeling. Embrace it.
After that, exaggerate it til the point I laugh at it. And by doing so, I take the power that it has on me – but not only that – I push the fun and carefree button.
So, let’s put that into perspective:
I’m out infield for 4-5 hours. I embrace the physical exhaustion and go, “Boy, can’t wait to do another 20 hours of game!”
With that mindset in play, I embrace the pain and push the fun and carefree button.
Overall, take something negative and re-frame it as positive.
This is asking myself, “What do I find interesting?” Off the top of my head, obviously game, but travel is good, too. Talk about your wild adventures in Colombia.
Edit: What’s even better than travel? While I can’t talk about game in set, I can most certainly talk about self-improvement! How people should be determined and take the most out of life. I’m super passionate about that.
Don’t ask what the other person finds interesting – it’s a form of supplication – but rather, as Julian states, focus on myself.