When I’m coming into inner game: Come in as a blank slate.
Don’t let your mind fuck up your idea of what attraction is, nor social media, and any other external source.
You are a blank slate.
Important: Before I truly get into the inner game concepts I’ve been looking for, I need to unwire limiting beliefs about myself.
This isn’t to say I need to ditch Todd V’s outer game – absolutely not – but focus on my internal beliefs first and foremost.
If I don’t unwire myself, anything Julian teaches me will be a temporary band-aid that may last a few weeks or months at most.
I need to clean out my limiting beliefs first.
Julian helps me with this by listing out the primary limiting beliefs widespread among men.
- This Wouldn’t Work For Me: This implies I have some sort of special talent to achieve success in game. I know from infield experience that’s complete bullshit. Julian has a saying, “No man is cut from a different cloth,” what one man can do, another man can as well.
- Girls Like Guys Who Are Good Looking: I don’t have this limiting belief either. That was destroyed during my time in Denver. I saw so many busted dudes with hot girls.
Remember: Girls aren’t checkin’ out dudes who look like Leonardo DiCaprio. They’re thinking, “Okay which guy is more decisive? Which guy is more on top of his shit?”
- My Age Matters: This is something that I struggle with at college campuses sometimes. If I’m thinking, “Oh, it’s too late for me to game at colleges,” cut that thought off right fuckin’ now.
Important: The older you become, the easier it actually gets. Why? Because you’ve gone through way more bullshit than some 21 year old. You’re more grounded as a person and whatever you do, don’t get sucked into the mainstream idea of, “The 21 year old guy who is ideal to women.”
In reality, some 21 year old guy is just some little kid lol
If some guy think age matters, he pretty much thinks a girl experiences attraction like a man.
For a girl, she’s looking at those behavioral ques, not that visual shit, and the older I get the more confident and decisive I am.
- It’s Different In My Country: This is an interesting one. Hell, I didn’t think this was a limiting belief.
Julian states the reason why guys think it’s harder where they’re from is because they grew up there. I was raised in the States and given time spent infield I firmly believe the US is “intermediate level”. Is it true? I think so.
In any other case, Julian states it doesn’t matter. Don’t focus on other countries – focus on your own.
- Women Don’t Like Sex: I think I struggle with this one, but it’s covertly embedded in my subconscious. Yeah, I know women like sex, but Julian states deep down I truly don’t believe that. For example, lots of guys think because a woman makes them wait (ie. 6-12 months), she’s not into sex.
No, a girl will hook up with me as long as I don’t have a judgmental double-standard when it comes to sex.
Not going to lie, I fell – and to an extent, still do – into this trap for years. Guys are into sex, but if I see an adorable girl a part of me still assumes she’s innocent. That’s a lie. A big fat lie.
If I’m talking to a girl and she feels like she’s going to be judged for sleeping with me, guess what? She’s going to hold off. That’s why girls hold off six months to a year! Since social proof is imperative for girls, they don’t want to seem like a slut.
So stop judging.
The sooner I let go of judging – the sooner I view sex as not a big deal – the sooner I’ll start seeing results.
A guy may think, “Well, I never had a girl sleep with me really fucking fast.” Do you know why? If she did, she probably feel you’d judge her.
Building off this, women put guys into two categories: Lover and Provider.
Depending on which one you are, a girl will have a different mode of behavior.
If she’s talking to the provider, which is basically guys she doesn’t find attractive, she may go out with him a bit, but she may feel judged if she sleeps with him, she’s going to put on that front of “I don’t like sex,” “I’m going to make you work for sex,” “You’re going to wait to sleep with me ’cause if I loosen up around you, I feel like I’m going to be judged.”
What do you want to be instead? The Lover.
What is the Lover frame? He’s a guy that’s fun, carefree, non-judgemental.
If I become the Lover – which I am; and have been actively working on becoming the Lover for 9 months now – she’ll sleep with me extremely fast. She’s going to feel massively at ease with me.