How Can I Become More Grounded?

This post serves as a carry-over from Why Am I So Good At Night Day Game?

After reflecting as to why my night day game is far superior to my day game, I realized it’s because I’m calm, my mind doesn’t race like it usually does during my day game sessions. And because of that, my voice projects sensuality, in a slow, meaningful way. I become grounded, since I’m present in the moment – not thinking a step or two ahead. Just being with the girl.

In other words, I’m grounded.

Before we write solutions, let’s start with what an ungrounded person is.

According to Sue Susnik, she describes the ungrounded person as the following:

“Being ungrounded happens a lot. You feel a bit off. Not quite there. Or completely over-excited.

You’ve lost touch with yourself physically. Lost touch with the earth. Lost touch with the reality of the situation you find yourself in.

You lose touch with yourself emotionally. You’re either lost in emotions and swept away by them, or you’ve swept them under the rug so well you just feel nothing.

You lose yourself mentally. You’re so deep working in the Zone you’ve forgotten to eat, drink or pee. Your anxiety sends you mentally out to sea. Your stress is through the roof and you can’t find your way back down.”

In essence, someone who isn’t present in the moment.

Before we get to the solution, what are a few symptoms of an ungrounded person?

Once again, let’s see what Sue has to say:

  1. Trance/vague-ing out
    You’re just not really there. You feel fogged in, away from everything. You feel generically tired, apathetic, lethagic. This mode tends towards depression, being cut off from your feelings, motivation, and energy.
  2. Hyper
    You talk incessantly. You rush from one thing to another. Your movements are lively, even over the top. You’re full-on, turned up to 11. This mode tends to maintain itself in a whirlwind of busy-ness, occasionally coming back down to earth before spinning wildly off again.

Sound familar?

It should, particularly during my day game sessions. This occurs incredibly often in Milwaukee due to the distinct lack of targets walking around the mall, UWM, etc. Because of this, my mind wanders and I start becoming ungrounded as a person. Once I see a girl, my approach is half in my mind and half paying attention. The girl feels this and ejects out of set.

In Chicago, I chat up u/Part2Pete when I’m bored, which is why wings are excellent.

However, I’m still flighty, unfocused at the task at hand, and don’t slow down my mind. Shit, because of the influx of information (ie. people going to and fro, loud noises, daylight illuminating everything, etc), my mind gets hyper and I start speaking too fast or my opens don’t sound meaningful – like she’s Girl #8472 instead of an actual human being.

So, how do I fix this?

When I first go out, my goal shouldn’t be to knock out approaches before dipping out of the venue. No, what I will do instead is take a small walk, calm my brain down, shut my brain up and just be present in the moment. My brain can do NO talking; especially with thoughts like, “Okay Adam, focus on slowing down,” since that, within itself, is focusing on focusing on being in the moment. Weird tongue twister there, but I get the idea. Once my mind – and consequently tonality – is slowed, my speech meaningful, then I can do approaches.

And remember: All girls are human beings with emotions and desires. I can’t think of them as Approach #538.

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