This isn’t exactly a field report, but moreso a few observations I noticed when gaming in Chicago on 03/27/21, Saturday.
When it comes to “being in the moment” + forcing myself to have fun, I discovered this works to an extent. Sure, I can have fun, but what if the girl doesn’t like the vibe? I could keep pushing on and calibrating, but what I personally thought worked better is coming from the frame of “give, give, give”.
It’s a concept coined by Julian Blanc which states I should always come from a giving value frame.
Important: When I’m in the moment + “give, give, give” frame, my interactions tend to fare much better. This is because being the moment + force myself to have fun may not resonate with all girls; especially older ones. With a giving frame, you’re able to calibrate depending on the girl’s personality.
Next, being genuine.
When I open, I generally say something about the girl’s dress style, how she carries herself, etc. It’s usually genuine, but if I see a plain clothes girl that I usually do – I make up some bullshit. Girls sense this and bounce. That, or make a sarcastic quip about their dress style before rolling their eyes.
This is interesting, since I didn’t expect to learn anything from him, but Not Good Julian made a point that I think will carry on with plain-clothes girls.
Just be genuine.
It’s okay to say, “Excuse me, I know this is totally random, but I thought you had the cutest look and I had to say hi.”