I have been handling dates incorrectly.
After emailing John Sonmez of Bulldog Mindset, he stated that “value based game,” should only be used during the initial pickup. With real, actual dates the girl has already invested enough time and energy into meeting me in-person that it’s in my best interest to drop the game.
I couldn’t agree more.
I was always instructed to run pickup, since you’re invisible in the eyes of a woman until you sleep with her. I’ve gotten pretty solid at the initial approach, but not enough experience with real, proper dates. On the other hand, instadates? Yes. I’ve gone into so many of those I can’t even count. I admit, you DO have to drop the game at some point.
IMPORTANT: What’s the solution? Easy. On all real dates, I will simply be present in the moment and actively listen/calibrate to what the girl is saying + projecting sexual intent on and off.
Any value based game I learned (ie. push-pulls, qualifiers, etc) runs in the background. I still say them, but they’re highly calibrated and don’t require much thought.
As a little experiment, reflect back on my first date with Perrine vs my first date with Andy. Do you see the difference? Do you see how noticeable their reactions were?