On June 19th, 2020 I promised myself to learn the art of seducing and bedding beautiful women – or as it’s commonly known as, pickup artistry. It has been exactly one year since I began my journey. I’ve gone through massive highs and terrible lows; fought against my inner demons which sought to prematurely end my pickup career; and dated dozens of women by pure, hard labor and my utter devotion to game.
Before I continue, let me tell you a little about myself: I’m a 5’6”, 29 year old Asian guy with an average physique. I don’t work out and primarily focus on verbal game / day game to seduce women. I’ve been gaming consistently 3-5 days a week; no breaks; for 12 whole months or 1 year. While many guys have their preferred game style, I primarily learned pickup in a structured + natural method via Todd V and JP (Todd’s protégé).
This isn’t a formal field report, per se, but rather a reflection of my first full year in becoming a master pickup artist.
What were my biggest sticking points my first 1-2 months as a PUA newbie?
– Envy: When I first began my pickup journey, I ran with a wing who had more sexual experience + social skills than I did. Every time I approached a girl, I’d overgame and feel tryhard af. Meanwhile, he’d land instadates, makeouts, etc without much effort. Despite the fact I put in far more work than he did at approaching and my wing possessed pretty bad AA without me, he still got triple my results.
I distinctly recall whining to an advanced PUA I know that it wasn’t fair. I wrote dozens of field reports, worked my ass off approaching nearly twice the girls he does, and consulted guys on numerous forums/Discord servers.
However, in hindsight, he had weaknesses that I never possessed.
For example, he relied completely on motivation. Once his motivation vanished – so did he. He relied heavily on wings, while I was entirely self-sufficient with or without a wing. Within 3 months, he dropped the game after his ex-girlfriend came crawling back to him.
Now I’ve far exceeded him and get/meet more girls than he does.
– Moderate AA/Socially Disconnected: I was afflicted with moderate approach anxiety my first few weeks of pickup. Unlike most guys, I felt I never had an issue with social anxiety, but rather, being socially disconnected. As an introvert, I enjoyed being in my head instead of the real world. Girls inherently knew in set I wasn’t present in the moment. Like I was day dreaming while talking to them and wanted to escape this high pressure interaction.
Within a 1-2 months, my AA reached manageable levels, but my social disconnectedness persisted a few months further.
– Try Hard: Boy oh boy, was this a sticking point. Since pickup artists preach DHVing yourself and eschew comfort (esp for American girls), I felt the need to throw out push-pulls, cold reads, etc like fuckin’ candy. I came across as disingenuous, inhuman, and robotic. Comfort simply wasn’t apart of my game repertoire. A mistake that took months to rectify.
– No Structure: During my first few months practicing game, I didn’t have a structure to follow. For example, open -> display value/comfort -> have a girl qualify -> once she’s hooked enough, go for instadate -> after instadate, bounce to another venue or close. That didn’t exist during my early months as a PUA. I flailed around like a chicken with it’s head cut off since I couldn’t pinpoint a girl’s attraction level.
What were my biggest sticking points 3-6 months in as a high beginner PUA?
– Calibration Issues: This is primarily due to the fact I couldn’t read a girl’s body language. During this time, I had a growing grasp of verbal game, but nonverbals didn’t click with me yet. I’d either establish too much comfort, with a little bit of value or too much value, with a little bit of comfort. However, thanks to reference experience (ie. making out with girls during night game, routines that worked in the past, etc), I was able to niche down on micro-expressions which helped my learning curve.
– Hooking: Girls hooked at the beginning of the interaction, but lost interest quickly. I was either too overexcited if they hooked for an extended period of time (and consequently, they lost interest) or too try hard. The solution was implementing qualifiers which took me 1-2 months of repeated practice to fully internalize.
– Escalation (Instadates): My first instadate started 3 months into my pickup journey. I was starting to drop the game and implement more natural, man-to-woman convos but still erred on the side of value. At this point, I’d successfully take girls on instadates once every 1-2 weeks, but it wouldn’t progress past that. I’d get a flaky number after the date was done and never see the girl again.
It wasn’t until I met the guys on r/CovertPickup at the 5 month mark (November, 2020) that my game begin skyrocketing.
What were my biggest sticking points 7-9 months in as a low intermediate PUA?
– Dealing With Regression: As with any skill, you regress to a prior level before increasing to a new baseline and the process repeats itself. It was no different with pickup artistry. If I had to list the #1 thing I hated about learning pickup, it’s regression. It’s the feeling of advancing so far, watching your skillset skyrocket and thinking it will go on forever. Before all of a sudden, you feel like a retard, you lost the golden mouthpiece, and you’re making rookie mistakes you inherently KNOW to avoid.
And then… a few weeks later, you’re back at your old self, but slightly better; however, you don’t see major breakthroughs compared to when you first started and may overlook your small – but stacking – improvements.
– Lack of Inner Game: I exclusively practiced outer game techniques for 8 months before delving into inner game. At this point in my pickup journey, I was landing instadates (+1 notch I got by sheer luck) virtually every week, but I was at an impasse. No foreseeable progress was visible for approximately a month before I simply got tired and started researching an entirely new subject: Inner Game.
I started off with practicing James Marshall’s “projecting sexual intent” technique infield – which, quite honestly, is a mix of both inner and outer game – before I discovered The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle thanks to u/fastlife15.
It was a total gamechanger.
My pickup skills hit new heights, as I was able to be present in the moment and actively listen/calibrate to what the girl said + project sexual intent on and off. Any outer game skills I learned (ie. push-pulls, qualifiers, etc) pretty much ran in the background. I still said them, but they’re highly calibrated and didn’t require conscious thought.
If I had to re-do my pickup journey all over again, I’d start with inner game mindsets -> outer game techniques.
– Balancing Value/Comfort: At the 7 month mark, I knew how to easily convey value, but was in the process of balancing comfort. This was accomplished by telling myself to have a fun, playful vibe 80% of the time, while DHVing myself the other 20%. At first, I was a little clumsy, but once I implemented inner game mindsets, it didn’t take long for me to get a handle of balancing both comfort/value.
– Lack of Real, Actual Dates: During this period, I’d land instadates multiple times a week when I went out. In all honesty, I was getting bored of ’em. I wanted to advance to the next level, not remain as the fun, flirty guy girls met in Milwaukee and Chicago before having the eternal text conversation to nowhere.
I successfully turned instadates to real, actual dates by doing the following:
a.) Spend hours with a girl: More time spent with you = more commitment on her end. A few hours spent with a girl means you’ve become an investment you can capitalize on. I’d generally bounce a girl to an instadate venue -> bounce her to a 2nd more intimate venue like a bar. On average, I’d aim to at least spend an hour on any particular girl. Make sure the # is solid before rejuvenating your social energy and bouncing to the next girl.
b.) Have her qualify a fuckton: I cannot state how important qualifiers are in set. I’d say they’re more important than other value based techniques like push-pulls or cold reads. As I advanced my PUA skillset, I’d focus my attention on having the girl qualify to me a ton before closing. A few examples are, “Wait, you’re a [insert occupation/field of study here]? Alright, I’ll be honest with you, I know a few [insert occupation/field of study here] and they’re a liiiittle boring. I’m HOPING you’re a fun person.” A few questions or statements that’ll make her fall into your worldview works wonders.
c.) Lead, lead, lead: This is incredibly important as well. Move your girl around. If you’re indoors, move her around the bar. Easy as that. If you met her on the streets. Make simple commands like, “Let’s move over here so we aren’t in the way,” “Let’s take a seat,” “Are you heading this way? Cool, let’s go.” The more entitled you feel to a girl, the more likely you’ll give commands and simply not care what she thinks.
d.) Actively listen/calibrate to the girl + project sexual intent on and off: This falls under comfort, but will mostly likely encompass 80% of your interaction. Once I learned how to drop the game and talk to girls like a normal guy, I began coming across as a human being compared to some disingenuous game robot. I was able to calibrate, accurately predict the girl’s subcomms and respond accordingly.
Finally, what were my biggest sticking points 9-12 months in as a true intermediate PUA?
– Entitlement Issues: At this stage of my pickup journey, I made my second pull, was going on real dates, and texting so many girls on both WhatsApp and my actual phone that I didn’t care if they flaked. I’d just find another girl. However, I still lacked entitlement with 8s, 9s and 10s. Most women I dated fell in the HB 7 range, a few 6s, but I still self-sabotaged when it came to hotties who displayed a true interest in me.
My game was hella solid and hotties loved me for it. It was objectively true, but my subconscious still wanted to believe the AFC Adam still existed. He couldn’t get 8s, 9s and 10s… it was impossible! And my brain did whatever it could to prove the ego right.
So far, I’m utilizing affirmations and simply going out and getting reference experience to destroy these self-sabotaging beliefs.
– Learning How to Handle Real Dates: I knew how to handle instadates like a boss since it was a carryover from the initial cold approach. However, I treated real, actual dates the same way. After speaking with John Sonmez, he stated I’d come off as scummy and clearly looked like I had an agenda to the girl’s eyes – which, consequently, came to bite me in the ass every friggin’ time.
If I ran the exact same game I did when I first met the girl, I’d be shooting myself in the foot. As in, on a real, actual date the girl already took the time and effort to meet you in person; so you’ve already established yourself as a high value man and there’s no need to stack more value. While instadates require little investment on the girl’s part.
The solution was painfully easy: Be normal. Take an interest to what the girl is saying (ie. don’t think she’s “boring”). Calibrate to her vibe and mood. Project sexual intent on and off so she knows you have balls.
– Pulling: At the 9-12 month mark, I’ve had multiple opportunities to pull girls from the initial pickup. I was able to fluidly balance value/comfort as such a rate, girls wanted to get banged out be me within a few hours of meeting them. I’d say my SDLs didn’t work due to a few reasons: a.) Self-sabotage: Since my belief system thought it was impossible to pull girls during the day within hours of meeting them. Despite the fact I logically knew this was wrong. b.) Not enough experience with SDLs in general.
What did I do to blow past my sticking points and advance to the next level?
– Being Brutally Honest With Myself: I never beat around the bush. Nor did I lie to others about my accomplishments. In my mind, what purpose does it serve? To boost the ego? To impress a bunch of dudes on a message board? In reality, lying about your results or twisting the truth will set you back months. Guys who know what the fuck they’re doing need to know exactly what happened in set in order to help you.
– Keeping To A Schedule: I obeyed my schedule like god. 3-5 set days a week. No more, no less. It didn’t matter if it was snowing, raining, or icy cold. If I had a day game session, I was out infield. I knew learning game was a long, oftentimes painful process and I couldn’t rely on motivation to push me along. A schedule – and therefore, an obligation to myself – was required.
– Recording My Sets: Lots of PUAs – whether newbies, intermediates, or advanced – refuse to use an audio recorder to record their sets. I think it may be self-conscious of the actual interaction, or a plethora of other reasons. I, on the other hand, decided to record my interaction with girls and showed them to advanced PUAs so they can pinpoint exactly where I went wrong and what I did right.
It’s been insanely useful tbh.
– Writing Field Reports: I write a ton of field reports. I exclusively practice game and I don’t really have any other hobbies. God knows I should start. But in any other case, whenever I thought an audio recording was worth uploading to YouTube, I’d write up an FR which detailed the following:
Synopsis: A detailed report of the entire interaction itself. Including where I met the girl, what kind of opener I used, her personality traits, my mood and how I felt I personally did, etc.
What I Did Right: A list of correct actions I undertook during the set, accompanied by how I executed them.
Sticking Points: A list of incorrect actions I undertook during the set, usually pinpointed by timestamps on the audio recording.
What I’ll Do Next Time: After pinpointing and listing my sticking point(s), I’d research how to counteract said mistake or consult advanced PUAs on the issue. Once the solution has been discovered, I’d log it on my FR in hopes I avoid the same mistake twice.
Comments: Any additional comments that I think are required.
– Seeking Advice From Intermediate/Advanced PUAs: I’m a member of PUA FB groups, subreddits, forums, Discord servers, etc with intermediate/advanced PUAs that I’ve either winged with or offered valuable advice which boosted me to the next level. If I didn’t seek mentorship, my progress would have been MUCH slower than it is now.
Unfortunately, I will endure a lag in my game progress since I’m living in Springfield, MO for 5 months. It’s a mid-sized town lacking many viable targets. Consequently, I’ve only been able to get in 10-12 approaches per week thus far. However, I’m hoping this sacrifice pays off since my objective is to save $$$ before living in Chicago to take advantage of it’s limitless supply of girls.
I can’t foresee massive strides in my game from June, 2021 – November, 2021. But I’ll do my damnedest NOT to regress by approaching 10-12 girls per week. Once colleges start up again in August, I’ll pump my game sessions to 4 days a week.
I look forward to Year 2.