11/04/21 – The Return of Qualifiers and Leading

On 11/04/21, Tuesday, I decided to hit up University of Chicago in Hyde Park. It’s def A- or B+ tier. The college has hotter girls and it’s incredibly spacious and feels super insular. It’s one of those universities you can approach a girl and never see her twice.

Anyway, after reading u/fastlife15’s comments on my last FR, he was absolutely right I needed to focus exclusively on subcomms and qualifiers + leading. I particularly liked this post:

“If you look at most of my openers, it’s pretty much: force a girl to qualify. Most of my follow-up is force a girl to qualify, force a girl to qualify, force a girl to qualify. Breaking rapport = forcing a girl to qualify. Cold reads = forcing a girl to qualify. Asking qualification questions = forcing a girl to qualify. Setting strong frames = forcing a girl to qualify. Complimenting a girl on a specific quality = forcing a girl to qualify. Empathizing with the girl = forcing a girl to qualify. I just go in assuming that I have enough value to force a girl to qualify–and that’s true like 95% of the time and the other 5% of the time I just have to spike it or DHV a little just by talking/acting in a way that I’m already entitled to the girl.”

For inner game, I’ve been focused on being grounded, present in the moment while calibrating the right vibe and frame depending on the girl. It’s been an ongoing journey of self-trust.

Meanwhile, a few weeks back, I refocused my outer game on opening targets without consciously pre-planning my opener (ie. “You have the most NYC look ever”). Consequently, my opens are much more fluid. I’ve used on-the-spot openers like, “Excuse me, I adore how you styled your hair. It’s hella wavy and makes you look like a cat-walk model.” Shit I couldn’t come up with if I pre-planned it.

However, I think it’s time I switched gears and relearn an old, yet incredibly powerful outer game skillset I absolutely fucking love: Qualifying + leading.

Technically, they belong in the same ballpark, since they both require a girl to invest time and energy into you, but leading is such a powerful tool, it merits it’s own section.

At the University of Chicago, I did an approach worth logging.

Approach #1The Louisiana Art Student

Synopsis: After arriving at UoC a few hours late (missed my train lol), I ran into this cute, hard HB 6 – soft HB 7, pink haired art student sporting a boujie white dress shirt and skirt. Set lasted 5 minutes, but I felt entitled since my energy levels ran high and it was my first set of the day.

I opened her with, “Excuse me, I know this is super random, but I totally adore how you did your hair. It just screams I’m a hipster from Oregon to me.”

She fuckin’ loved it. Given I was running a more grounded, masculine, yet fun subcomm, she began explaining her apparel design. In which I qualified her and hoped she wasn’t a pretentious boujie art student. She swore she wasn’t, but since emotions + vibe was running high, I asked if she was heading behind me. Once I got confirmation, I began leading her in the right direction.

Overall, the set was going good, but in hindsight, I made two mistakes:

a.) As time passed on, I became more visibly excited. It wasn’t because I was vibing with my target, but rather, I was reminded of how I ran game prior to moving to Missouri. It was as if my skillset was returning simply by not being consciously aware of it – and trusting myself completely.

And as Julian states, “The one who is more excited, more enthusiastic in set, is the one with lower value.”

b.) I seeded the close by talking about coffee, but the set ended prematurely since I kept qualifying/push-pulling her without getting to the point. After a while, it became a little weird and she said she had to go study. It didn’t help the fact that two strangers walked right out the door and sat next to the steps while I was gaming the girl. Let’s just say I missed a pretty good opportunity that won’t happen again.

What I Did Right:

Leading: After I built value / a little rapport with my target, I knew I had to be the man in the situ and begin leading. I asked her if she was heading in the direction she was, well, heading and she agreed. It didn’t matter what direction she was heading off to, as long as I took the frame and told her to walk together with me.

Qualifiers: Off the top of my head, I challenged my target based on her choice of coffee, the fact I’m disappointed she’s a Southern girl without a southern accent, that art students can be boring and pretentious and I hoped she was a fun person, and a few others I may have forgotten about.

I’m definitely seeing a strong uptick in qualifiers which I previously used push-pulls for with much better results. Next time, try and calibrate my qualifiers after amassing value in the girl’s eyes and cashing it out. Use it if your gut tells you to, but if possible, build up that “value bank account” before spending whole sale, so to speak.

Strong, Fun Frame: My frame was fuckin’ solid. I’m at the point of my pickup journey, where my once strong frame is re-emerging. Thing is, it’s only strong for the first two sets before my energy levels start depleting. After that, I become more or less a normal dude. If I keep persisting, hitting the streets day in and day out, while practicing my frame, I’ll always be “on”.

Sticking Points:

See Synopsis.

What I’ll Do Next Time:

Keep Qualifying, Leading: This. My default are push-pulls to build value since they’re easy to do on-the-spot. No brain power required. It’s a simple formula of compliment with a slight negative spike. However, qualifiers require actual investment (ie. heeding your commands, explaining herself, etc) from the girl.

IMPORTANT: Remember, use push-pulls sparsely to build up value, but rely on other avenues like holding a masculine frame, teasing, being playful, before cashing it out with qualifiers.

Be Calm, Grounded, An Active Listener… No Matter How Good The Set Is Going: Yes, it’s fucking awesome getting a girl into you with verbals + dominant gestures/body language. But you can easily lose the set if she determines you’re of lower value compared to her.

It’s important to remember not to get overexcited.

Be a calm, grounded individual. An active listener when she speaks.

Match her energy level or below. Let HER get excited over YOU.

Not the other way around.

Comments: It can only get better, brutha

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