On Sunday, 11/07/21, I was heading to Downtown Chicago on the Red Line. I decided to pop on James Marshall and The Natural Lifestyles podcast instead of my usual Eckhart Tolle. I’m so glad I did. James spoke of what he calls “practical meditation”, and how to utilize awareness in all situations in life.
There were a few key principles I learned:
- Non-attachment: Stressors come into my life. Whether it be from a hot girl, a shaky train, to a mere itch. The idea isn’t to let it affect you. It is what it is. Objectively understand what it is and leave it at that. Most guys react to shit. If a girl rejects them -> they feel terrible -> let it affect them the entire night/day.
- Getting Out of Your Head Via Adjusting Your Focus: Lots of guys try getting out of their head by logically analyzing what happened or simply telling themselves to get out of their head. As Todd V states, this is the worst thing to do, since ironically, telling yourself to get out of your head puts you into your head!
This has two steps (+1 extra):
a.) A direction of concentration and focus: For example, if you pinch your fingers, you redirect your attention from your head -> your slightly painful fingertip. Now my focus is somewhere else. I have to direct my concentration to somewhere else instead of my monkey mind thoughts which jump from branch to branch, from thought to thought to do whatever it wants.
However, that alone isn’t meditation.
b.) Remain balanced, objective, and non-reactive: I’m observing something, yet allowing it to be as it is. For example, when I’m meditating let’s see a loud noise startles me, or I’ve got a pain in my lower back, if I go out to rub my back or check out the noise, those are reactions starting to happen. I need to sit there and feel the pain or let the noise run it’s course without curiously checking it out.
Instead, just put your mind deep into the sensation or into the noise and sit there. Don’t give an opinion (ie. “Oh, this is irritating, what is it?”, “I want to get rid of it.”). Just observe it as pure sensation. It’s not good. It’s not bad. It just is.
c.) Women Are Not The Enemy: Okay, I lied, this one wasn’t on the TNL podcast, but something I realized while day gaming. For me, pickup has always been an adventure. It’s like you’re playing a custom character on an MMORPG. You gain experience, passive abilities, active abilities via how much work you put in. Thing is though, women are seen as an opponent you “level” yourself up with.
This is going to sound strange – and probably won’t resonate with most of you – but once I switched gears and saw women as individuals who, too, want to meet a cool, sexy guy to fall for or to be loved, I started getting much better results.
Women are people, too. Not an enemy or adversary to overcome.