True Awareness Is Accomplished Through Pain

As I type this in the shower, I can feel the cold water wash under me. An itch threatens to break my concentration, but I realize it is nothing but pure sensation. It is neither good, nor bad. It just is.

There is no better way to write this post than in an environment that demands I react.

To scratch an itch. To move from the hard, cold shower floor to the comfortableness of my gaming chair.

It is the ego attempting to wrestle back control of true presence. True Awareness that I sought so long after.

I am centered, balanced as I type this.

Yesterday, I wondered why I wasn’t truly present in the moment. This is why. The real challenge of refocusing your energy, to see if you’re truly giving it your 100% is to be non-reactive.

If you scratch that itch, the ego has reclaimed you.

You lose a little bit of presence each time you react.

Instead, go into the pain, the itch, the uncomfortableness, and realize it is pure sensation.

Vocalize it if you have to.

Just realize, the more you accept and do not react, the more presence goes into you.

You are not meditating if you are simply aware of everything around you. That is simply the first step.

You must finalize it with the second step and become centered, unreactive, and transform the negative or positive into neutral. To your rambling, ADHD mind and sit through the pain.


An itch is pure sensation.

Panic, fear, anxiety is pure emotion.

Random thoughts is the adhd, monkey brain doing its own thing.

Your most insightful, breaktaking insights only come with pain.

At the end, you will thank yourself for it.


What does this mean game wise?

Before you send that text, go into deep awareness meditation -> refocus into optimal text game.

Before you go out infield, take a shower in late afternoon (ie. 3pm) -> go into deep awareness meditation -> go out and meditate on train.

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