My present moment awareness meditation is growing stronger, but I must remember it is an inner game skillset. And just like game, you regress to a prior level before hitting a new – and improved – baseline.
On 11/11/21, Thursday, I meditated once again in the shower. I was able to easily transmute itches, pain, etc into pure, objective sensation. However, my ego sought to desperately regain control by operating on the subconscious level.
You see, I didn’t actively think about anything during my meditation; all conscious thoughts were dismissed as my monkey mind playing games trying to escape the boredom of focusing on one single thing at a time.
So, it stopped.
Instead, it started by playing a piano tune I heard a few hours ago in the back of my head.
It wasn’t in the forefront, but rather, a background noise that refused to stop.
I won’t fight it.
The only thing I can do is realize what it is – a distraction of the ego trying to wrestle back control via the back door – and IMPORTANT refocus 100% on whatever sensation I’m feeling.
This is my new goal.
Complete and total awareness
No fucks given