This is a big lightbulb moment I experienced thanks to the all-glorious Todd V. When I’m infield, my sticking point has always been trying to hard; overgaming, if you will. Why is that the case? Because I identify myself as a pickup artist, not as an attractive guy who is good with girls. When the term ‘pickup artist’ pops into my head, what do I think? I think war, competition, one-uping the girl, like I’m engaged in a never-ending battle between the Sith and Jedi.
Consequently, since my mind interprets ANY interaction with a girl as a battle – I use techniques to WIN. Not in the good way, mind you, but “win her over using my excellent verbal skills and game and how funny/witty I am.”
What does Todd state? I’ll quote the god himself:
“As you get better [in game], it’s very important to actually shift your identity NOT to pickup artist anymore, but to ‘guy who is good with girls’.
Once it’s a given you’re going to do approaches, once it’s a given you’re going to take action – in order to get the right action, in order to make it appear ‘it just happened’, to be naturally attractive – it’s very important I most past ‘this is something I’m proud of, something I do’ to this is something WHO I AM.”
Because that’s going to make game more of an embodiment and more of something that flows through you. Even when you’re not in ‘pickup mode’ or when you’re not ‘doing approaches’.
It’s going to make your game alot more ‘it just happened’, alot more seamless, alot more natural, alot more effortless.” – Todd V.